When Swedish singles navigate the dating jungle, it can be difficult to distinguish between passion, love and friendship. Does a relationship always have to start with passion? Or can passion grow out of a friendship?
Love at first sight?
Match’s survey Dejtingbarometern 2022 shows that only 38% think it is important to click the first time you meet. Despite this, as many as 68% of Swedish singles think that the first date is crucial for a second date.
– If you’re on a date with someone who really isn’t your type, it’s no wonder you don’t want to see them again, because it’s important to feel some kind of curiosity about the person you’re on a date with. However, no one feels love at first sight, it’s a false discussion where love is confused with attraction. We can absolutely be insanely attracted to someone at first sight, but love comes later. Because love is a stronger emotional bond that usually deepens over time the more you get to know someone. , says Jacqueline Joo , dating expert at Match.com.
So the truth, according to the expert, is that most of us need more than a look or a date to fall in love. Therefore, it may be worth giving the person a second chance, even if there is no spark at first sight.
– Many singles have found that attraction can happen quickly and be captivating, but it doesn’t necessarily lead to love or a successful long-term relationship. And even if there isn’t instant attraction on a first date, if you give dating a chance, love and attraction can develop over time. In the program, however, participants have less time to feel if it’s right or not, and therefore make quicker decisions. , says Jacqueline Joo.
On average, it takes 4.9 dates for Swedes to fall in love, according to a survey by Match. To give love an honest chance, it is therefore important that you as a single person give both yourself and your dates enough time before making a decision. So don’t be discouraged if you don’t feel a strong physical attraction right away, because it’s perfectly normal for passion to start growing as you get to know each other better.
Tips for building attraction
If you don’t want to rely solely on fate but instead want to take a little more control over how the date will go, there are good tricks to use that will increase your chances of attraction!
The website Passionerad writes about relationships and sex and they have listed various questions that can help to start an exciting conversation during the date. Getting a natural conversation going is an incredibly good basis for getting a second date!
Of course, the best thing to do is to take the conversation as it comes and see where it goes, but if you’re stuck for topics, it’s good to have a few aces up your sleeve that you can quickly pull out to avoid an awkward silence.
Below are three good questions and tricks to have ready:
- What about me made you interested?
- Who are you as a person?
- Spin on what made you book that first date.
For the slightly more daring, Passionerad also recommends various adult toys that can be brought either on the date or have ready at home in case you fall in love with each other. Some may think it’s a bit too much to bring a sex toy on the first date while others will think it makes you exciting and sexual, which are important ingredients for building attraction!
Other good tips to make your date feel attracted to you are:
- Don’t just talk about yourself, but ask questions and listen to the answer. Ask lots of follow-up questions to show that you are interested and to keep the conversation going.
- Keep eye contact and smile a lot. Eye contact and a nice smile are always charming!
- Hug when you meet. It instantly sets the bar and creates a relaxed feeling.
- Do something fun on your date, an activity that you can then talk about either while doing it or afterwards. Walking around a museum or a nice park is perfect if you want to be able to talk about what you see in real time, while a concert or cinema is great for cozy conversations in a café or pub afterwards. Then you can sit and talk about your recent experience!
We hope you feel a little more confident about dating now and that you manage to build an attraction between you and your date. Good luck!